Whiskerino 2009

Subjective to a degree but a good starting point

Rules & Regulations

The Broad Idea

Shave completely clean, post images regularly, interact, participate in themes, be nice. Grow a massive beard.

The Fine Print

I. CONTEST RUN DATES

The contest will officially run from November 1st, 2009 until February 28th, 2010. Participants unable to fulfill this time period will have their accounts placed within the Whiskerino Hall Of Shame. Participation is still highly encouraged for any amount of time during these dates. Please Note: Contestants agree to post an image at least once every 7 days, with the caveat that posting requirements may become more stringent during the duration. Posting a photo intermittently is unacceptable and will result in placement to the Hall of Shame.

Figure 27

Figure 27:
A proper start for a Whiskerino entry. Notice use of shaving cream. While a barber visit would be a great treat for yourself, it is not required.

II. A CLEAN PALETTE

You must be clean shaven (see Figure 27). This rule is the foundation of a proper Whiskerino. Allowable hair types: eyebrows, eyelashes, sideburns, nose hair, ear hair. Sideburns must be trimmed to the earlobe (see here for a fine example). Banned hair types: mutton chops, goatee, neck hair, moustaches. No exceptions.

III. BEARD GROWTH

According to Parker Brothers Beyond Balderdash the definition of a whiskerino is "a beard growing contest." Participation in the North American Free Beard Agreement Whiskerino denotes that the participant will grow a beard. Refusal to grow a beard is not in the spirit of the contest. Note: Testerone levels differ in every male and all levels of growth, regardless of density and coverage, are encouraged. As long as the participant is not shaving the participant is growing a beard.

IV. SHAVING

Trimming or shaping of hair growth is highly frowned upon. Participants are highly encouraged to let their beards follow their natural path. 'Sculpting' will be questioned and must be kept to a minimum.

V. FALSE PRETENSES

By supplying a photo for upload and display during Whiskerino 2009 the participant enters into an agreement stating the following:

  • The photo is, in fact, the participant (please note: this means all photos must include at least a portion of the participant's beard)
  • The photo has not been altered by digital means in regard to enhancing beard growth, shape, or density.
  • The photo may not contain added text, graphics, or clipart unless in participation with a themed day (this includes iSight camera effects, Photoshop filters and their ilk).

Figure 74

Figure 74:
Photos must be taken "landscape" or in a 4x3 ratio. To crop an existing photo in Photoshop select the marquee and set the style to fixed aspect ratio (4w x 3h) in the properties bar.

VI. IMAGE UPLOADING

Images supplied by the participant must be in JPEG format sized no smaller than 500 pixels in width cropped to a 4 x 3 aspect ratio (see Figure 74). Photos may not contain profane gestures, nudity, hateful imagery, or reuben sandwiches.

Only one image per day may be submitted to the North American Free Beard Agreement Whiskerino 2009. Submission of more than one image per day will result in the previous submitted image to be overwritten and all comments and ratings for that image removed but do what chu gotta do breh.

VII. HALL OF SHAME

Failure to comply with the North American Free Beard Agreement Whiskerino 2009 rules and regulations will result in the participants account to be sequestered into the Hall Of Shame. Participants placed within these shameful halls will no longer have access to their account and, thus, image upload will be forever suspended for them. Ridiculing members of the Hall Of Shame is not only allowed but highly encouraged.

VIII. WINNER

Upon completion of the contest there will be official ceremonies announcing the winner. Winning beards will be determined by a variety of criteria including: Beard Official opinions, ratings, overall participation, attendance, beard style, and spirit. Note: Immense facial hair density, girth, and coverage does not neccasarily determine winner. Spirit and Beard Fellowship are the highest ranked criteria according to the North American Free Beard Agreement.

Possibly Asked Questions:

Can I suggest a theme day?
Sure, email Mackle at: michael [at] yewknee [dot] com
Do I have to follow theme days?
No but it is certainly more fun for everyone if you do.
How do I get to be “King Beard”?
A combination of factors play into this determination but mostly it's earning the favor of your compatriots.
Can I be “King Beard” multiple times?
You can and you may.
I’m a Girl. Can I participate?
As a female you may have a participant account that enables you to chat and comment but voting and image uploading will be restricted.

Ideally, you'll join up with the Vaginarino crew and post your own creative / mocking photos. Don't let the name intimidate you, it just means For Girls Only.
I heard this is the final Whiskerino!? Is that true??
You heard correctly. This will be the final Whiskerino.
Why?
I tend to think of the entity of Whiskerino like a television show. The longer the show runs, the potential for lameness rises. Instead of letting Whiskerino spiral into an obligation over a pleasurable experience, it's best to end it.
Will it ever return?
It is possible that it will return some day but not in 2011.
I'm totally bummed now. What can I do?
Make it the greatest Whiskerino ever so you can look back on it fondly.