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posted: December 17 @ 8:05am

I think I told you, you wouldn't like this.

But this was as close to death as anything I could imagine.

Explanation: I inadvertently got cast in a Verizon spot (didn't even audition) and they insisted I not look so much like a lumberjack. I tried to sell them on the idea of the corporate creative/hipster/pot-stirrer in plaid flannel and CAT boots, but they didn't bite. Freaking Verizon, what do they know?

Here's to Mackle and the greatest community on the internet. Thanks for the good times. Crossing my fingers that no similar surprises come up in May.

Furricane says:: That sucks, but congrats on landing the spot.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:06am - ∞

Gavin says:: terrible.

i'll miss your shots

Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:06am - ∞

themightyjones says:: You just made children cry. And me. Children and me. Crying.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:07am - ∞

Owen says:: Work always comes first. Will see the commercial on national television?
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:07am - ∞

Grower&Shower says:: Just for that, I'm not paying my cell phone bill this month! Hate to say it-- SHAME.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:07am - ∞

themightyjones says:: Also... I'd like to get set up with the awesome ability to land spots without auditioning for them. The new Hobbit movie would be good. How do I get in that without auditioning? Thanks in advance. And, still crying.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:08am - ∞

Katie says:: And me, too. I weep for your beard.

I hardly knew ye.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:08am - ∞

mOtke says:: Two or three of your shots are my absolute favorites of all of whiskerino. The shot with you and the leaves and your daughter was stunning. I think about it often.

I'm very sad to see you go.

Congrats on the spot and good luck to you.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:10am - ∞

Andrew says:: sadness.

and just as sadly, SHAME

(But totally worth it)
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:10am - ∞

9schwander says:: Aw man. But on the other hand... congrats! Maybe years from now, when you're a famous actor, you'll help the beard cause in hollywood.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:12am - ∞

gfmorris says:: SHAME HIM! SHAME HIM NOW!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:13am - ∞

mattyc says:: well i mean...I guess it's cool since you are getting paid to shave.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:13am - ∞

slo gro says:: oh verizon, can you give us a break just once. always SHAMEing us with you big wireless machine. good luck with the spot!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:15am - ∞

robberfly says:: SHAME!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:16am - ∞

Brian says:: Don't kill the beard! God, NO!!!

At least you are ending with an A+ shot.

Oh ... (and I'm sorry to do this) ... SHAME HIM!!!!!!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:17am - ∞

shularbrau says:: SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!
Can you hear me now?
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:18am - ∞

mrpbody33 says:: Verizon brings the SHAME!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:18am - ∞

whiskerbert says:: FAIL! You take such good shots! And this photo is like watching… a horrible and sad movie! And believe me… verizon wants beards!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:18am - ∞

KimJongIllness says:: The glory or shame.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:19am - ∞

Matty O says:: 3 terrible "jokes":

Yet another reason to dislike verizon.
I wish there wasn't a map for your shaving. But there probably is.
Luke Wilson would never make you shave.

Now that those are out of the way. Congrats to you and too bad to see you go. Be well.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:20am - ∞

pcain says:: Shame on Verizon (they charge me to much anyway)
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:20am - ∞

ewagoner says:: Q: Can you hear me now?

A: NO, THE SOUND OF THE RAZOR IS DEAFENING! OH, GOD, THE HUMANITY, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:20am - ∞

western dave says:: dude...yeah. just glad you made it this long.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:21am - ∞

Mike de Monk says:: KING AND SHAME? is this possible?
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:22am - ∞

falfa says:: stinks, dude.

SHAME HIM
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:23am - ∞

Beardwinner says:: You should have come to Canada, where we don't have Verizon.

You get this one in lower case... shame.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:23am - ∞

jnonfiction says:: When a man tries to stand on principle, The Man always entices him to vice with his filthy Money.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:25am - ∞

tedford says:: this is indeed very sad. you might say it's a SHAME.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:27am - ∞

Fofe says:: Sorry to see you go, but a job is a job. You had a great run...some really cool photos. Good luck on the commercial!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:32am - ∞

Twisted Sistare says:: I'm crying, too. Good luck and see you in May!

clame for your shame.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:34am - ∞

Noelix says:: Shame. Thank you for explaining though. Shame all the same though.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:41am - ∞

Ploafmaster says:: Dang, you've taken some of my favorite shots on here, seriously. This is a bummer, but congrats to you all the same.

King'd, fav'd, and SHAMED.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:47am - ∞

S. P. Dinsmoor says:: Shame on you for choosing the Man over the Beard.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:49am - ∞

hankbobs says:: My greatest achievement this Whiskerino was when someone said they thought one of my shots was taken by you. Really sad do see you go, hope to see you in May though! Good luck with the commercial.

Don't take the shame too hard.. but still.. SHAME

Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:51am - ∞

MarkyMadBeard says:: :(
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:51am - ∞

miguelito says:: ugh.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:51am - ∞

miguelito says:: KINGSHAME!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:52am - ∞

Xjdunn says:: SHAME! can you hear me now?
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:55am - ∞

elclinto says:: Save Luke Wilson!

Shame.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:03am - ∞

yourfavorite says:: Nooooooooooooooo! NO NO NON NO NO NO NO! TAKE IT BACK!

In all seriousness... Really sad to see you go man. You're one of my favorites. I hope to see you in May.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:03am - ∞

yourfavorite says:: Also, one more reason to not like verizon.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:04am - ∞

Daniel says:: Congrats but sorry to see you go.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:04am - ∞

Mat Wiseman says:: Oh noes.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:10am - ∞

Johnny Rebellious says:: Say it ain't so!!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:27am - ∞

Johnny Rebellious says:: after saying that, I feel like listening to Weezer's blue album
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:28am - ∞

zackle says:: Oh man. What a shame. Good luck with the part, know that you will be missed. Hard.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:29am - ∞

Moses Marion says:: this is sad... you participated well and I can say you were worthy to be followed... best of luck
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:30am - ∞

Vanbert says:: NO NO NO. But I understand, that commercial cash is hard to resist. I hope to meet you one day, come to the throwdown. See you in May old friend.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:31am - ∞

Dave says:: congrats... im sure you will be around in spririt! GL with the Verizon stuff
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:34am - ∞

MrMaggie says:: this is a terrible loss for us. i'll miss your solid shots everyday.

best of luck with your verizon spot.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:37am - ∞

rodohmes says:: Your photos will certainly be missed - and I agree with @mOtke - the shot of you and your daughter with the leaves is one of my favorites of all thus far. Godspeed brother.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:40am - ∞

Fledgling Brewer says:: And here I thought they could put some kind of mandible cap & makeup over your beard these days for TV. Boo! I will miss your amazing family portraits most of all. Congrats on the gig!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:41am - ∞

Mat Wiseman says:: SELL OUT!

Someone had to.

You will be missed. Really enjoyed a number of your submissions. I mean, who could forget 'Armpit tacos'? No one.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 9:46am - ∞

jclutch says:: /CRY
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:10am - ∞

mu says:: bummer, you will be missed, but good luck!

It's funny I work for VZW. The IT department has embraced growin' and showin'. I guess I should have worked on the marketing department, but 'alas, it is too late for you my friend.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:13am - ∞

kinetek says:: "Another one bites the dust...."
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:23am - ∞

wondermade says:: I am truly bummed to lose your creativity, photographic acumen and all-around genius.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:30am - ∞

mynameisjason says:: this makes me sad to say, but: shame him.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:32am - ∞

mackle says:: man, this is a real bummer!! you bring the goods each and every time. I will miss having you around but I understand a man has to put bread on the table.

Good luck to you out there sir.. you are a gentleman and a scholar.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:41am - ∞

W E L L S says:: Yet another reason for me to dislike Verizon...May the Shame Hand strike swiftly and cause you little pain. SHAME HIM!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:53am - ∞

whipticker says:: So sad. Verizon really is evil.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 11:05am - ∞

stanislaw says:: may your beard rest in peace.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 11:20am - ∞

Robfrenzy says:: SHAME!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 11:27am - ∞

Shotgun Willie says:: an angel just lost their wings and is falling to its doom with a crashing thud in some WalMart parking lot.

sad day.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 11:47am - ∞

Ozzy Nelson says:: well, happy acting.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 11:47am - ∞

Patrick says:: More evidence that Verizon is evil.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 11:48am - ∞

jonshell says:: so sad.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 12:03pm - ∞

Creative Liberty says:: All but about two guys at the Apple store where I work have beards or some form of facial hair. Screw Verison...come on over where everyone knows your beard, Apple welcomes you.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 12:09pm - ∞

josh says:: Best of luck...BUT....SHAME!!!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 12:12pm - ∞

Just Jamey says:: Bastards.

Glorious ending, though. And a great day to do it.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 12:29pm - ∞

Beard Goggles says:: Verizon can drop dead today.

I love your shots. and I'll miss them.

you had a good looking beard too. What a shame...

SHAME.

congrats and good luck.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 12:32pm - ∞

kidstatic says:: wow, later dude. sorry to see you go.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 1:00pm - ∞

ThatGuy says:: I don't know what to say. You have been one of the most consistant producers of real camera magic. You've set up, lit, and captured true art so many times. You will be missed. And I will never type the "S" word under one of your photos. Good luck with the new gig. I hope to be in front of a tv at some point to catch the spot.

If they were smart, they'd let you direct the spot.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 1:16pm - ∞

Dschonn says:: Was this conversation over the phone? You should have pretended that the call was breaking up.
"Can you hear me now, telling you to shave?"
"Cshshccsssssssshhshhshhshhh what?"
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 2:06pm - ∞

Jarrett says:: Sad, just sad.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 2:09pm - ∞

Le Duncan says:: I may just follow through on this theme now.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 2:21pm - ∞

Caronna says:: So sad! See this is why i use AT&T. SHAME
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 3:24pm - ∞

Flotsam & Beardsam says:: Great! They'll give you money for it and you can buy a new beard!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 3:31pm - ∞

Ula O cealleigh says:: :(
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 3:34pm - ∞

Chuck Damage says:: Goodbye sweet prince. I'm sorry that the dark nature of capitalism killed your beard.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 3:58pm - ∞

Patchy Stache says:: *sniffle* I'm crying with you. I'll be looking for you in ads!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 4:01pm - ∞

pastor says:: what a shame.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 5:08pm - ∞

The Despot says:: wow, thanks one and all. this is a little like attending one's own funeral and i have to admit to being flattered by much of it, even amid the cries for shaming. but i figured, i'd rather go out with a bang and look great on the shame wall than just another bloke caught in idleness.

thanks, again, @mackle. i think the proudest day of my life, second only to the births of my children, was your comment on nov 9. hope all continues to go well with you guys. i'll still be lurking through march.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 5:54pm - ∞

chadmcclarnon says:: NOOOOOOOOOoooooO!!!!! Man...Whiskerino just got sadder :(

Your shots are always my favorite to see on here, sir...I knew yesterday that this was where it was going. This is total shame and sadness. Good luck on the commercial man, hope to see you in May!
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 5:56pm - ∞

Poe says:: you have fantastic pictures and I just found your profile. I hope you continue to lurk. good luck to you in the commercial.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 6:32pm - ∞

Pip says:: Happy for you, but really sad to see you go.

Stay around and let us know how life is going.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 7:07pm - ∞

western dave says:: man, hurry up and shame this guy already. i keep thinking this really didn't happen.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:35pm - ∞

wondermade says:: (Still sad about this.)
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 8:59pm - ∞

Ace says:: i has a sad.

you deserved at least one kb before you left. now i hate verizon. im glad they are not my cell phone company. God speed my friend. to the hall of shame for you.
Posted: Dec 17th, 2009 - 10:34pm - ∞

Site closed!: Whiskerino. fin.

The Despot

does not Whiskerino.

Location:

Utah

Say what you will about Brigham Young and his Mormon movement to Utah but that man had a BEARD. An undeniable beard.

Age:

Currently: →

@pictureline is giving away a #Canon 6D to one lucky photographer. Enter to win now! http://t.co/fpOAq2VH

About:

Two things I hate in life: the Yankees and being clean shaven.

Two things I love: beards and taking pictures of beards.

Favorites:

View The Despot's Favorites

Whiskerino 2009

Comments

The Despot

does not Whiskerino.

Utah

Say what you will about Brigham Young and his Mormon movement to Utah but that man had a BEARD. An undeniable beard.