Whiskerino 2009

Welcome to Whiskerino 2009! Time to grow and show!!

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  • posted: February 28 @ 5:56pm
Later, bitches. It's been kind of fun.

Another year ended without a King Beard, which is awesome by me. And let's be honest, that "everyone is a King today" win? Bull shit win.

Any dude can come in here and dress like Alice, wear a blond Marilyn wig, buy a bunch of matchsticks, break their back, cheat with javascript, play with paper and scissors, show off their hot wives, climb trees with cute kids, or flare the shit out of their pics.

You know what I think? I'm the man for lasting this long without a win. That just means I love beards for the real reason: because I'm a man. Some of you are real mean, in it for the flannel and money saved by not buying razors.

The rest of you? The dudes who think this is about KBs?

Ya'll are bitches.

I'm out!


Robfrenzy says:
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 5:57pm -
iamaaronmartin says:
Little know fact, the reason I never show my eyes is because I can see into your soul.

I see you all now.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 5:58pm -
jeremyokai says:
very nice aaron. see ya later
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:02pm -
Beard Goggles says:

nice. me too.

0 KBs and im cool with it.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:09pm -
Beard Goggles says:
cause i'm also a man.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:09pm -
jnonfiction says:
I'm going to take that like a man.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:10pm -
Jarrett says:
You sir, are my hero.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:10pm -
jnonfiction secretly always wanted to be aaron's friend, but was too intimidated. perhaps he blew his chance...
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:11pm -
Shotgun Willie says:
had a beard long before the king. agreed.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:14pm -
Grower&Shower says:
Great parting words. KINGED!

(cuz I know ya want it)
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:15pm -
Birch Beard says:
Well put. Nice to see you finally.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:20pm -
Zach says:
the truth. it hurts....
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:21pm -
Dschonn says:
It's so odd to see your eyes. I did not expect that hairstyle on you.

I screwed up and actually won a kb this year. I think it was inevitable. Sorry for not being a man.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:23pm -
Yogi Beard cries like a little girl.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:26pm -
Mat Wiseman says:
Well, this is awkward.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:27pm -
brandon says:
You forgot about lasers and t-shirts, dude.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:35pm -
brandon says:
Also, I do these things almost solely for your last day rants. Does that make me weird?
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:36pm -
ilikeschool says:
you are tough.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:36pm -
brandon says:
Also, I'm on a horse.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:37pm -
keifel says:
your caption is hysterical. I'm proud to have shared the same unofficial team as you.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 6:46pm -
Pip says:
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:06pm -
zackle says:
No wonder you never showed the rest of your face.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:08pm -
mattyc says:
Just for the record... you rule and also just for the record i'm glad that i made it int you bitch session caption... and also just for the record i too made it all the way without a kiingeard b/c king beards are for pussies that's why i waited till super late to post on stripes day when all those ass holes wanted to king me. Fuck them. Oh yeah..and everyman a king day totally is a bullshit win and it was totally my idea... it was a joke and the punchline was awesome for a lot of poeple...so yeah... to sum up... TWINS RULE
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:08pm -
zackle says:
I kid, I kid. But seriously, come back in May. You might win. Or not.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:08pm -
zackle says:
Take care, pal.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:09pm -
Scrivener says:
Preach it, brother! I'm on that no-win team too! 3 Whiskerinos, 2 Moustache Mays, no real KBs.

It's so freaky to see your eyes, though.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:10pm -
iamaaronmartin says:
@brandon Youre "Im also in a horse" comment made me laugh my ass off.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:15pm -
iamaaronmartin says:
@jnonfiction We can still be friends.

That is litterally "me AT iamaaronmartin DOT com".
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:17pm -
iamaaronmartin says:
@zackle Ouch. The truth hurts though. Maybe I'll re-upload to avoid the shame of my rugged looks.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:18pm -
iamaaronmartin says:
@mattyc You never got a King? Thatakes me want to burn Whiskerino down.

YOU BROKE YOUR BACK AND STILL POSTED. I'm 100% healthy and still wasn't close to 40% posting record. But, I'm glad you never won. You get to keep your man card. I'll even let you keep it even though you have that ridiculous Star Wars Jedi braid rat tail thing.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:23pm -
Smurf says:
Lol nice caption, but also I never got King either, but still it was nice to see you at our little throwdown that we had, hope to see you again some day, Take care.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:28pm -
wondermade says:
Brilliant. I'm glad you went the eyes route. Come back, because the office was less awesome without you. In fact, I may not shave until you're back.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:48pm -
OhMyGoshman says:
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:49pm -
OhMyGoshman says:
Wow apparently I can't do a less than sign
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:49pm -
OhMyGoshman says:
Team less than 100% attendance and Team no KB for life!!!! ...or maybe not.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:50pm -
jonshell says:
threw DOWN.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:50pm -
Phil says:
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 7:52pm -
zackle says:
I was really just throwing up a defense mechanism with my snarky remarks, as your dreamy eyes were reducing me to a puddle of Jello pudding.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 8:01pm -
hale. says:
haha, well played. i'd say if you were still in LA we should hang out, but you declared LA to be for chumps, skipped town and went to disneyworld or something.

be well, and learn how to frame your entire face for photographs. it's not that hard.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 8:19pm -
chrisauel says:
Well, well, the man behind the beard.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 8:29pm -
mackle says:
hahaha.. @hale FTW on that comment.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 9:01pm -
mackle says:
I can't believe you're busting out The Eyes for the second time this Whiskerino. It's like space and time are unfolding.

I love your aggro caption and wouldn't want Whiskerino to end for you any other way. Well, actually I'd like for people to have recognized the greatness that you brought to the table with great regularity but that's what Favorites are for - of which I have many from you.

Hopefully I can make it down to Florida sometime and find out if you're as mean as you try to come off here or just another hilariously pleasant guy.

Thanks for being here.. even if you hate us all.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 9:05pm -
Spitzer says:
hahaha.... love your caption. we need to meet-up sometime. maybe a trip down to Florida is in order.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 9:23pm -
gfmorris says:
The only way you could end.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 9:50pm -
Ace says:
dang. someones bitter. haha...

see you at the next show. now that i know what you actually look like!
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 11:10pm -
Army of Whiskers says:
This shot is pretty much pure eye porn.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 11:20pm -
iamaaronmartin says:
Ask @wondermade if I'm hilarious. I think I am, but I'm biased and in love with sarcasm.

And I need to get to Nashville for my own private throwdown to meet you all. For real this time.
Posted: Feb 28th, 2010 - 11:48pm -
damnweather says:
too bad you didn't make it out to the throwdown. i think we'd get along. or totally hate each other. one or the other. nothing in between.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 12:05am -
robberfly says:
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 4:55am -
mynameisjason says:
ahhhhhhhhh! you have eyes!!!

Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 6:07am -
aaron b says:
I totally agree. I would have kinged you just to spite you if I had read this yesterday.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 6:07am -
miguelito says:
nice eyes, nice hair. nice photos. see you round, in may, perhaps?
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 6:08am -
Jar says:
Your hatred only makes me stronger! Seriously though, it was great growing and showing with you in both go arounds. I just wish I could have meet you at some point. Keep in touch on the ol' chat.

I have no idea how you never won a King bread, but I find it hilarious.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 6:09am -
Presto Beardo says:
yay for making it through with no king, see you around the interwebs dude!
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 6:39am -
mOtke says:
As he typed in the final words of his rant, he wiped two single tears from his rarely seen eyes. He closed the laptop then opened it again then closed it then thought about opening it but kept it closed until he actually opened it again. Staring him in the face was his face. His soul eating eyes, pulling him in and pushing him away.

He threw his beard across the room and started punching invisible kittens like a leaf blower tossing about the dried leaves in October.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 6:42am -
Daniel says:
Serious last words. I would expect nothing less.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 6:44am -
orangebeard says:
This was/is awesome! I love you man!

we are naming our new daughter's middle name after you, but with an "e".

hope to see you again sometime soon!
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 9:07am -
Eric the Beard says:
bye..it was fun!
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 8:18pm -
wondermade says:
@everyone Aaron is hilarious. It's true.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 9:06pm -
iamaaronmartin says:
@wondermade Thank you, I knew I was funny.

@orangebeard That's flattering, but I know it's not after me. It's just a good name.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 9:37pm -
l_etranger_ says:
great shots throughout man. bon voyage good sir.
Posted: Mar 1st, 2010 - 10:58pm -
Site closed!
Whiskerino. fin.