Flotsam: Notice the power of my lower jaw. It indicates a propensity toward lush, full beard & coat growth. Your gift of a dog that looks like a muskrat, while sweet, only betrays weakness. My relentless attack on your puerile attempt at beard growth will continue, unabated.

The Viceroy of Dainty Pants: How did you get a Freddy Krueger sweater onto a skin cat?

Beardsam: uuuulllleeeeeyyyeee. ugh.