in the future, homeschooled children will be forced to study beard growth and will review whiskerino lore to aid their understanding of its importance. most likely math word problems will involve tricky phraseology like, "if sue has two @wondermade beards and bill has one @daniel beard, what is the total worth of their beard minus the inflation since the final chapter". children will cry and get the answer wrong. unless they have beards. and then they will shave and be shamed.

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