Whiskerino 2009

Throwdown details coming together. Please attend!

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  • posted: December 24 @ 4:37pm
Feeling somber this Xmas Eve, fellas. This is a photo of my beautiful amazing grandmother (we call her Nanny) that I took back in September. I woke up today to news that she passed away early this morning.

It wasn't entirely unexpected (and not my family's first Xmas-time loss)...it was just a little soon. She's been battling with non-hodgkins lymphoma for a long time now. We had started to prepare for this as she just got the "2 weeks to 2 months left" prognosis last Thursday, but expected to have more than a week more.

Nanny was the absolute strongest woman that I've ever known, a great deal of who I am comes from her helping to raise me. Even throughout all of the chemo treatments she was never weak, and barely ever complained. In fact they never even really phased her, when I would go and sit with her she was the same old fun-loving Nanny, she just had more tubes.

"Just Nanny, with tubes" I used to say.

Yesterday, as many of you know, my fiance, Trista and I made the trek through rain sleet and snow from Nashville to Sheboygan, WI for the holidays. We got into town about 12am and collapsed into bed. The call came at about 8am from my mother's cell phone I answered and it was my Dad...I knew right away why he was calling. I honestly almost hung up because I didn't want to hear it, not when I'm 750 miles away.

With all of the oncoming precipitation throughout the weekend, the holiday flight delays, and the meetings that Trista and I have lined up for wedding planning next week all add up to me not being able to make her memorial service on Sunday. I've accepted this and am dealing with it surprisingly well. The way I see it is if i'm going to be upset, and if I'm gonna cry, it's going to be because she's gone not because I can't make it to the funeral. That kind of crying seems selfish, and she wouldn't approve.

So, sorry to be a downer today, beardos...I'm feeling fairly isolated right now, even though I'm surrounded by other friends and family up here. Wish I could be on the site more this weekend to delve into the community and creativity, but am without Internet. I'm phoning all my photos in.

I grieve greatly for you, Nanny...I'll try my best take comfort in the fact that you're no longer suffering. Your legacy is real and lasting. I promise to someday pass on the love and teachings you gave me in my life to my own children...and hopefully my children's children.

I love you and I miss you.

Comments

Yogi Beard says:
I'm very sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family during this time.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 4:41pm -
Ozzy Nelson says:
Sorry man.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 4:53pm -
Fofe says:
Sorry for your loss. Your memories will sustain you through this time.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 4:56pm -
David W. says:
Man. So sorry to hear that.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 5:14pm -
[j.kent.r] says:
My deepest condolences to a fellow lefty. Two years ago from today my Grandma passed away and went to be with her husband and God. Sorta fitting as it is the eve of the day we celebrate Emmanuel.

You and your family will be in my prayers tonight.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 5:25pm -
Matty O says:
thoughts, sympathy, and prayers go out to you and your family tonight.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 5:58pm -
chadmcclarnon says:
Thanks fellas, while I personally don't believe in god and prayer, I sincerely appreciate the sentiment.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 6:01pm -
tedford says:
so sorry to hear this.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 6:51pm -
mattyc says:
sorry to hear that man.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 7:24pm -
mattyc says:
My 19 year old cousin died last january. I was on vacation on a ski trip in colorado. My mom called my friend's cell phone b/c I don't have one to let me know. It was really hard to be so far away and hear the night it happend when my mom told me that all my aunt wanted to do was hug his body but they wouldn't let him into the morgue because it was against the rules.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 7:26pm -
miguelito says:
sorry to hear, man... God bless you and yours this Christmas.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 7:49pm -
mattmarch says:
Chad, that's very touching. She sounds amazing and she must have been very proud of you and the legacy that you will carry on. My thoughts and prayers are also with you and your family.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 8:03pm -
jeremiahx says:
First off, great photo . Second, fitting tribute for what sounds like an amazing woman. I am glad that you have the ability to unload to this community. We may be just growing beards but we are also living life together. There are babies made, and loved-ones lost during this time and it is amazing to see community come together. Stay strong and try to enjoy Christmas.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 8:13pm -
mackle says:
no apologies necessary for sharing. i garuantee the entire community feels for you and your family. you have our deepest sympathy and we all hope you the best. there are no words that will change how you're feeling but we're here and supportive.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 8:22pm -
wondermade says:
Sorry for your loss Chad. Thanks for giving her such a tribute, and allowing us to honor her alongside you.

We'll be praying for you and your family over the next days - my wife's grandfather died a few weeks back and the sting of death is especially acute during the holidays.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 8:22pm -
O.G. Manly Beard says:
im sorry to hear about your losses. very nice tribute that you wrote for her. im sure you made her extremely proud in all of the time you've spent together.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 8:25pm -
chadmcclarnon says:
Thank you guys so much for your kind words and thoughts. I am grateful for all of you and for this community.

@mackle I appreciate your efforts in this more than ever today. This is actually the only online presence that I have unloaded any of this onto. It really is amazin how close I feel to you guys. Sharing creativity so often under a common goal becomes surprisingly intimate.

Thanks again everyone and merry christmas
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 9:33pm -
GrizzlyDex says:
remember her and smile inside as you cry. celebrate the life as you mourn the passing. but let it out and begin to let go. time is all the helps.

grow your beard for her.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 9:38pm -
chadmcclarnon says:
@wondermade my condolences to you and your wife...this is actually our third Xmas time loss as a family. It suredoesnt get easier.

@mattyc that's insane. I imagine by his age that it was a bit more unexpected than this was. I've never really experienced being so far away and losing someone so close. Death is a weird thing.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 9:38pm -
mOtke says:
Sorry buddy. You are in my thoughts. She sounds like an amazing woman.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 9:42pm -
ThatGuy says:
As a man who's grandmother played a HUGE role in raising me, I definitely feel your sorrow. I thank you for your tribute to a beautiful woman, and send only the most positive of thoughts and wishes to you and your family.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 10:15pm -
Roo says:
so sorry for your loss. we feel your sorrow and will keep you and your family in our prayers though this difficult time.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 11:04pm -
Moses Marion says:
she was a very pretty lady.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2009 - 11:48pm -
hale. says:
Chad, I am very, very sorry for your loss. From your words, and from the little bit I know about you, your grandmother was a obviously a wonderful, amazing woman. I myself lost both my grandfathers during previous holiday seasons, a couple of years apart, and both just before Christmas. Losing a loved one anytime of year is difficult, but the holidays seem to make it even harder.

For my part, it is a great feeling that you are able to open up to the rest of us in Whiskerino, that you are aware of the strong sense of community. Sometimes voicing your grief can help, and hopefully speaking out to us will do that. I think this also underlines the fact that we do care about each other, and that in times of hardship for one member, there is support and sympathy from all.

Keep in mind that she's not fully gone, that she will live on in your memories and in the qualities and values that she passed on to you, and you will in turn pass to others.

My condolences, and I wish you and your family all the best though these tough times.
Posted: Dec 26th, 2009 - 3:29pm -
Site closed!
Whiskerino. fin.