Maybe if you quit stealing your step-dad's ties he might be nicer to you and quit killing your pets. Watch out, I hear he's looking at the sea monkeys next.
i used to use my mother's mascara to fashion a beard for myself. every night i would pray that the good lord would deliver me from my humble, hairless face. at the age of fourteen, he heeded my prayers. i was now a man. the years have passed, but one thing stays the same; the angels rejoice each time i walk past that razor without so much as a glance in its general direction.